What are the standards for inclusion on MAL or Loserphotographers.com?
(Note: Due to the multiple elements covered in this post, it is also available on the Loserphotographers.com blog)
A recent email we received made some excellent points. In fact, we’ll be quoting extensively from this email in the future.
However, the author also displayed a valid concern, such as the following:
Though you're attacking of random people with tripods in the "loserphotographers" section is a bit unsettling as how I might end up on it, heh, is there some sort of criteria you have for throwing people on there other than whats stated?
It’s a good question, and one that deserves a good answer. What constitutes a THUG, MORON, TERRORIST, or LOSER? Here are some characteristics that will cause us to take a second look. This is part one of a multi-part series on this subject:
1. A Jack Brauer (Wide Range Galleries) website
This will surprise many readers. What the heck does a Wide Range Galleries website have anything to do with Marc Adamus and his moron supporters? As it turns out, plenty.
Jack Braurer websites are extravagantly expensive. In fact, they range from $2000-6000, with more expensive options available. The most common fee is, apparently, $3000. The reality is that this money doesn’t get you very much. The websites are template-based, which is why almost all of them look vaguely similar, and the customization is usually in the form of some custom graphics and slightly different gallery arrangements.
It’s important to point out that these expensive Wide Range Galleries websites are essentially overpriced, underperforming templates that offer no secret formula to internet visibility. So it’s really stupid to pay so much for them.
So, if we ignore the privy information in the above sentence for a second, you’d think that a very successful photographer is the typical client. And you’d be very, very wrong. In fact, Jack hardly has any real photographers as clients.The typical “client” is a loser who makes almost no money of any sort from photography. Many of them have their own money, or have spent their well-to-do parents’ money on the websites (Ryan Dyar, Floris Van Breugel). Most of them were completely unheard of two years ago. They feel that buying one of these overpriced, template websites is some sort of magic solution to their web presence. Why do they think this?
Simple. Marc Adamus was one of the first people to purchase a Jack Braurer website.
For most morons, this is enough by itself to immediately rush out and blow $5000 on a website. Now that we’ve laid it out for you, isn’t it astonishingly insane? If this poser is stupid enough to buy some website just because Marc has one, what else is he stupid enough to do? Bear in mind that we don’t think Marc paid this much for his website. We think that Jack suddenly realized he had a jackpot on his hands, and promptly raised his prices after delivering Marc’s site. And where does it stop? How high do the prices have to be? We guarantee that the Floris Van Breugels and Ryan Dyars of this world would be buying a Wide Range Galleries site at $10,000 a pop. Maybe they’d still do it at $20,000 a pop. After all, Marc has one of these sites, and since Marc is The Best Photographer, The Most Successful Photographer, and the Most Humble Person ever, obviously anyone who wants to be a Real Pro© needs a Jack Brauer website.
On a more serious note, a Jack Braurer website is one of the sure signs that you’re dealing with a talentless loser, a worthless fuck who thinks that throwing a bunch of money at his latest obsession will make him a noteworthy artist. We strongly urge you to not purchase anything from anyone with one of these websites. In almost every case, you’re dealing with an immature, inartistic poser who hides behind his computer and his expensive website and makes no money from photography except for that “earned” by “teaching” fraudulent photography “workshops” to other loser wannabe’s.
To recap:
1. If you find a Jack Brauer website, you’re probably dealing with a fraud, a poser, and a loser. He purchased that website because Marc Adamus did. No other reason. There is about as much creative thought at work here as could be found in a roadside boulder (maybe less). Hit your back button and find a real artist who doesn’t need a super-expensive website to look like the real thing.
2. Jack Brauer websites are easily identifiable by the “design by Wide Range Galleries” note at the bottom of each one. Avoid anyone whose website sports anything identifying Jack Braurer, Jesse Speers, or Wide Range Galleries as associated with the design or content of the site.
3. Jack Brauer himself is rapidly dipping into the world of fraud by advertising himself as a large format photographer, while he increasingly uses the tools of scum morons, the Canon 5D Mark II, for landscape photography. This camera has no business being within a hundred miles of any website or gallery promising medium or large format quality prints. Do not purchase prints or services of any sort from Jack Brauer. Do not reward his fraud and business relationship with Marc Adamus.
Look for Part Two of this series soon, where we take a look at the 2nd hint we’re dealing with a loser: The various obsessions and claims of LOSERS & LIARS, and what to look for when reading a photography website.
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